I’m learning that it’s all about the journey and not the DESTINATION.

Week 4: 

Qatar nightlife sure is a sight to see! Soooo…..Where do I even begin?  Well to start the male population in Qatar dwarfs the women population by about 3:1.  Went to my first overseas Happy Hour this week and I must say it was quite an experience.  I can see how some women would be intimidated walking into a bar/lounge/club here alone.  The men are literally all over each and every woman that walks through the club doors who is not directly attached to a man.  They will gawk at you, they will caress your arm to try to get your attention, and they come behind you on the dance floor and try to get you to dance with them.  Don’t even get me started on their lack of rhythm or dance moves lol.  It is bizarre to see over 100 men in a pub competing for a mere 15-20 women.  It is so different from my nightlife experience within the States.  And the club/bar owners are well aware of “this women shortage” so to entice more women to come out each week, bars offer all sorts of crazy incentives:

1.     Irish Pub: Women drink free all night

2.     Crystal Nightclub: Buy one drink, get the other one free

3.     W Hotel: Buy a drink and get a free appetizer and free drink

The deals are actually really good for women and us (expats) fully expect to take advantage of them while we are here.  But you better believe that I’m walking in with either my husband and/or a group of loud expats that will scare all the men away because I don’t play that touch me or invade my personal space stuff!

End of October we have our first week long break because of EID (religious holiday).  In Qatar you are not allowed to leave the country as a resident, until you have your residence permit/license.  Everything here takes such a loooooong time. The whole process is anticipated to take up to 8 weeks from the day you step foot in the country to complete (*note the anticipated).  My hope is that I get my residence permit by the middle of October and we are able to take a trip over to Abu Dubai or Sri Lanka.  The great thing about our location is that flights from here are relatively short and inexpensive.  Most flights cost less than $500 round-trip.  I have always dreamed that one day I would be able to travel the world and visit some of the places I have only read about in Travel magazines.  It brings great joy to my heart to know that this can become a reality over the next few years.  These are the kinds of experiences I want to be able to share with my family, my friends, and someday my kid.  Exposure is everything.

My new school has some frightening similarities to the one I just left in nyc.  From the 1^st day I stepped foot on campus, I could tell that the school is one in the midst of transformation.  A swift change in the overall structure of the school, staff members, as well as, the educational vision/goals is currently happening.  While it is exciting to be a part of a school that has embraced the need to change their educational practices to something more progressive, it is hard to watch teachers struggle to deal with the rapidly changing systems.  I am thankful to be in a quasi-administrative role this year and not a member of the Executive Council who has been charged with finding innovative ways to rebrand the school.  Sounds an awful lot like the makeover that began at Lighthouse last year.  At least once a week I think about Lighthouse and why things played out the way they did and if my choices/decisions were rational.  I do know that if I didn’t make those choices and stay committed to my principles, I would never have ended up here in the Middle Eastern rediscovering the many reasons I went into education.  So in reflection, I’m thankful for the previous experience it was necessary and timely!

Sidenote on work:

1.     All the kids call their teachers by their first names i.e Good Morning Ms. Selina (it’s a little weird to get use to)

2.     They don’t use chart paper in classrooms out here.

3.     Teachers have literally 3 breaks a day and some have even more (wth)

4.     Islamic Studies is taught here and I’m still trying to figure out what happens with non-Arab students who parents don’t have the same religious beliefs.

5.     Almost every child here has a nanny and driver who drops them off and picks them (not much different than the children back home who don’t see their parents either but in nyc its for very different reasons. Pretty sad what happens when you live in poverty and when you live in wealthL)

Oh boy……1^st run in with the police………A Lebanese teacher who lives in my building got into a car accident today afterschool.  As Marquis and I arrived back from school, we could see her off to the side of the road with two other teachers visibly upset and her car smashed in on the driver’s side.  We rushed over to make sure everyone was ok in the car and offered our moral support as she waited for the cops.  The accident was not her fault at all.  An Arab gentleman tried to go around her on the wrong side of the road and didn’t realize she was about to turn left to come into our compound. 

The police arrived and the Arab dude immediately rushed over to their car and began talking in Arabic and using boisterous gestures to explain what happened. The police were actually prepared to take the Arab’s word because he was a man and spoke Arabic.  Apparently this happens here quite often I’m told.  Foreigners are frequently charged with being at fault for accidents because they don’t speak Arabic and the Qatari Men in general rule the land here.  Thankfully there was an honorable gentleman who served as an innocent bystander and spoke both English/Arabic who was able to explain to the police that the guy was lying about who caused the accident.  I think what disgusted me the most was the way in which the police dealt with Aliona (Lebanese teacher) vs. how they treated the men in the situation.  They barely let her speak and when they felt like she was being overly aggressive (raising her voice and arguing with the Arab driver) they told her she should go sit in her car (which she refused to do of course). It was truly something out of a movie.  It really makes me think twice about getting my license and driving around.  I may just stick with my driver for a while because it would’ve been a problem if that cop pointed his finger in my face and told me to go sit in the car (Foh).

Other random things that I have discovered……

1. ·       The water in the shower never gets really hot like nyc (guess they figure its like 100 degrees all year so what’s the use?)
2. ·      Cab rides to anywhere in the entire city will cost you no more than $25 Qatar Riyals which is $ 6 US.  That is because gas is only 50 cent a gallon here.
3. ·       The Tribeca film festival is coming here in November and I am very excited.
4. ·       There is no day lights saving time (same amount of sunlight & darkness all year long)

From my roof

 This is my journey..……..not sure where my final destination is BUT at this point I am enjoying the ride!

Eat. Pray. Love....and then some

Sometimes you have to take a step back, to take a huge leap forward.  Sometimes silence is golden.  And sometimes being removed from a fast paced environment helps you appreciate the little things this universe has to offer.  These are all things that I am slowly starting to realize with my change in scenery and pace.  I have only just begun to see the world in a very different light and I yearn for more rich encounters.

Eat: My quest for familiar food is an unresolved conundrum.  I decided to venture into the seafood section of the market today, which for a normal person living in a regular city doesn’t seem like a big deal but for me it took all the courage I could conjure up to walk in.  Not only is the fish section very smelly (lol) and unorganized, it is also a bit intimidating for a woman who isn’t use to shouting out orders to get help.  There are no order numbers, no real serving lines, and pretty much no “method to their madness” here.  I went in and called myself being polite, but after about all of 4 minutes I had to make my presence known.  Ok, great so I have the man’s attention but shit I didn’t realize everything is ordered in kilograms.  Just fucking great now I have to figure out in a split second just how much fish I want without spending an outrageous amount of money.  All within these 4 minutes, I also realize that the shrimps are prawns with all sorts of antennas pointing at me and the fish all have full heads/tails. WTF!!!! Ok, so I figured out my order super quick and asked in my most polite voice can you please cut & clean them for me?  The butcher shouts yes…. and I’m thinking SCORE!  Well, not so much because when I get my final order the antennas are removed from the prawns, but the fish simply have an incision in their heads and the scales have been removed.  Great, so is that what clean the freaking fish means here? Shoot me! Now I have to look at fish eyes in my sink as I attempt to cut off the fish heads for dinner tonight.  Wholefood’s how I miss thee! 

Pray:  There is something to be said for a group of people who actively pray five times a day to display their belief in faith and their overall commitment to something intangible.  Most people don’t have that kind of commitment to anything in their lives other than checking email (which I’m guilty of).  I have never been a super-religious person, but my family has always had close ties to church and religion in general.  I sit here now and try to remember when I became disconnected from my spiritual growth, and began to focus solely on my professional & personal development.  Maybe it’s time to revisit some things?  Or maybe its just time to reaffirm some things? Maybe I’m just a work in progress?

Love: It is lonely here without all my friends and family.  As much as I tell myself it’s a wonderful journey that I have embarked on, sometimes I just want to go where people know “my name”.  I want to walk into school and people know Nena, and not just Selina the professional/coach.  I want to go outside and just happen to run into someone I use to know.  I miss familiar people who can tell just by my expression that I’m annoyed or irritated.  Some might say but Selina you are with your husband so you’re not completely alone. Which is definitely true and I appreciate having him and Amanda because it is better than other people have here.  However it still isn’t the same as being home and having my own work, my own social life, and basically moving how I want to move at any given moment.   The fact that I can’t just pick up the phone and call the girls to meet me at Haiku, Tosca’s, or City Island has been a real hard reality to face.  Don’t even get me started on the limited and restricted supply of alcohol in this darn place!!!! You would think with so many foreigners there would be an abundance of alcohol for them to at least drown their sorrows in when they are homesick (rotfl sorta). 

Let’s talk about Culture…..Shock:  The men here ogle every expat woman who walks by them.  It is quite uncomfortable as a woman if you wear anything remotely revealing or form fitting.  And by “revealing” I mean a pair of jeans, a skirt, or a t-shirt (that may cling a little to your chest because its damn near 105 degrees everyday out here).  I must admit it is bizarre and a bit creepy. I guess when you come from a culture where you don’t ever see any female body parts and your women are often covered up in black from head to toe literally, it is hard not to stare when you can see a foreign woman’s legs, arms, or neckline.  I dress pretty conservatively (especially since I know where I am and respect their customs) but I have definitely seen some expats with things on that I wanted to slap them for.  I mean my theory is if you are going to live in someone else’s country, it is not only respectful but considerate of their culture to cover up to a certain extent. 

With that said, I don’t completely agree with the dress constraints here.  Why do women get blamed for men not being able to control their sexual urges?  I mean these women cover up completely and dress in black (mind you its 100+ degrees here everyday) so that they don’t entice other men.  So that other men don’t admire their natural beauty, which is preordained for their husbands.  I mean come on; some of these women aren’t even allowed to show their mouth or nose.  Maybe I’m not knowledgeable enough on this stuff to comment yet? But I would love for someone to help me understand the rationalJ

Work: It is fascinating how wide you can spread your wings when you are allowed to fly.  Since I have gotten to Doha, I have been treated like nothing short of a professional educator.  My philosophies and opinions were not only validated but also respected.  I have been called on by the Executive Council of the school to consult on various instructional policies and help frame some of the new work that is being done around R & W workshop (how exciting and nerve-racking all at once).  Wow, what a change from my job last year to this year!  I won’t count my eggs before they hatch, but it seems that this year appears to be full of potential.   Minus the fact that the school day here begins at 7:10am…..which sounds like a 9pm bedtime from now on.    

Small discoveries:  Here is a list of awesome things that I discovered during my three weeks in Doha (I know it feels a lot longer to me too)…. the few things that have made me smile.J

1.      The pottery and rugs come in extraordinary colors, shapes, and patterns.  They certainly make you feel like you are in a scene from Sex in the City 2.  And if you know me well, then you know I’m a big house decorator so I had to cop a few!

2.      The souq is such an amazing place to go and take in Middle Eastern culture.  The marketplace is filled with such a variety of things that you are sure to find whatever it is that you desire, at the price you are willing to bargain for.  The coffee shops and outdoor sitting cafes are so European.  I feel like I should have a cigarette or sheesh, with a glass of wine on my table as I write a novel or something fantastic like that lol.

3.      Since my fish head incident a couple of days ago I found a magnificent supermarket called Spinney’s.  It is a bit of a way from my house, but totally worth the truck.  It’s like a stop & shop back home and the butcher there will cut the heads off of my fish woohoo.  It’s all about the small victories at this point for me.  I was able to find greek yogurt, delicious fruits and vegetables, oreos, edamame, and pop-tarts.    

Quote of the Week - “Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson  
(I know you miss my quotes on facebook)

Qatari Life for a Big City Girl

QATARI LIFE

It is the 8^th day since my arrival here in Qatar; I am sad to say that I have managed to do only a few things relatively successful. I went food shopping, purchased new home appliances, traveled from city Centre mall back to my flat w/o help, and purchased a mobile phone.  When I say it like that it seems like I’m making progress right? Yeah, well I don’t feel like I have accomplished nearly 1/3 of the things on my to-do list.  I’m still completely out of my comfort zone and incredibly unease about the fact that I have no idea how long it will take for me to feel secure and comfy here.  All my years in New York City now seem like a cakewalk compared to the Middle Eastern country I now call home. In NYC, I knew how to wash clothes, set up dsl, purchase a vehicle, receive/send postal mail and get to a hairdresser without even blinking an eye but now I’m at a lost for even the simplest things.  I pray it will get better.

 

WORK

I went to my new school today and I couldn’t believe that it literally looked just like a college campus.  There were eight school buildings, a soccer field, a swimming pool, basketball court, and a gym. While it is breathtaking to work on such a beautiful campus, it is also disheartening to know that the kids I have worked with for years back in the States will never experience anything quite like this during their childhood.  All I could think was that the Qataris just don’t know how good they have it with all these added perks.  It really makes me deeply question the role socioeconomics plays in our society and the overall inequalities in Education throughout the world (not that I didn’t question this before but it’s clear to see now)

GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS

The role I have taken on this year requires me to work closely with K-12 Teachers around coaching, best practices in education, Literacy, and Backward Design planning.  This is considerably different than my previous position in the Bronx where I was responsible for so much more than Literacy and coaching.  It is liberating to finally be at a job where I don’t constantly feel like I’m sucking lol! 

 

Within the first week I arrived in Doha, the Director of Curriculum asked me to create three workshops around Understanding by Design for secondary teachers grades 6-12 to be presented during Staff orientation next week.  This was my first official “task” of the year and I knew success on these workshops would really give me the credibility that I needed to kick off the school year right.  I worked diligently for the past four nights on my workshops; although all the other new staff hung out, went to malls, or went sightseeing.  It’s ok though because this is what I’m built for!

 

Had my first business dinner the night before my presentation with the Director, his wife, and Marquis.  We arrived via taxi to the Pearl (which is a full community literally built right into the water in downtown Doha) at around 6pm.  We couldn’t help but notice that the buildings resembled 5^th Avenue or maybe the Financial District residential buildings, but with much better architecture.  We were pretty amazed that the high-rise Pearl buildings were lined with nothing but luxury stores like Vera Wang, Fendi, Roberto Cavelli, Maserati, and Porsche ………It is definitely the most luxurious part of Doha where people with “real money” live.  (If you never heard of the Pearl look it up…it’s that mind-blowing!)  Anyway so the Director asked us to come over to his apartment and his wife prepared our first “real” meal since we moved to Doha.  We simultaneously went over my presentation, while enjoying wine, tasty treats, and a beautiful Middle Eastern sunset.  The Director was pretty impressed with my presentation and my ability to breakdown hard to understand concepts.  I can’t wait to see how it goes over with the staffJ The important thing to me is that he has faith in my competences and overall knowledge to work with teachers/curriculum in the way he envisioned when he created the position last year.  What an exciting way to begin the year!

CULTURE/OBSERVATIONS

I ran into a Qatari woman at the bathroom in the mall today.  She was taking off her burka to wipe down her face and get a breath of fresh air.  I knew that it was impolite to stare, but I just couldn’t help stealing glances at her (this whole culture is just so intriguing to me).  While I’m inquisitive about the culture, I am never judgmental and try really hard to absorb their customs and philosophies each day I’m here.  It’s uncanny the kind of assumptions I have heard Westerns make about Middle Eastern culture and their religious beliefs.  

As I stand there washing my hands; I wondered what the rest of her body looked like, whether she really wanted to dress in this fashion, and what her life was like growing up.  And then she spoke to me…..and her voice was one of the most soothing & sweet tones I have ever heard.  Instantly reminded me of a Kindergarten schoolteacher who was about to tell a story before naptime.  She had noticed that I needed to dry my hands and offered to move her Louie Vuitton clutch (yeah everything is designer here) so I could get better access to the drier.  As I moved over, she began explaining to me how unbelievably hot she was on this particular day.   Without the burka wrapped around her face, I could tell that she was similar in size to me, with a tad lighter skin and maybe 2 or 3 years older.  By all accounts of what we would consider normal, she was it.  She was quite a pleasant and friendly woman to speak with even though it was obvious we had many differences.  I think the covered face (or masked protective wear) constructs an unintentional separation btw Qataris and society, and it is unfortunate because underneath it all, we are the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DRIVING

Coming from New York, I didn’t think any other place could top the reckless driving and crazy accidents that I have witnessed in my hometown. At last I have found that place! Qataris are horrible, reckless, inconsiderate drivers and it is quite unbelievable to see in action.  Let’s start with children under the age of 10 in the front seat with no seatbelt, jumping up and down on the parent’s lap, while the car is in motion.  Then move on to the switching of lanes at speeds we wouldn’t even imagine without putting on an kind of indicator.  Finally the fact that they all drive like they are on a Daytona 500 raceway really makes me second-guess whether I should even consider getting my international license and drive here.  One would think that the cars here are old, damaged, and crashed up because of the way they drive but it is quite the opposite.  Since the Qataris are very wealthy, on the road any given day I could pass multiple Range Rovers, BMW, Porsche, Mercedes, Lexus and Maserati’s. Really makes me miss my BMW so muchL