Clearing the sand from my eyes

I deliberately named this blog....clearing the sand from my eyes because that is exactly what I feel I have been doing both figuratively and literally the last few months.  What a game-changing adventure the Middle East has turned out to be ?!?

I’ve spent most of my last five years trying to get myself setup for the “future”.  In doing so I have lost touch of the things that matter most: living life, health, and happiness.  When you work endless hours and go to school at night, you don’t give much thought to how much of your days, hours, weeks are being lost.  Time much like health is something that you simply can’t get back once it’s lost.  That’s why its important to only give your time to things that you truly value and things that will enhance your overall life.  Ask yourself.....how do you spend your time?  Is it worth it?


Hospitals Overseas
There is something to be said for getting sick in your own country! The NY hospitals and Doctors I have known, loved, and loathed throughout the years oh how I miss thee. Even when the wait time is hours lol, at least I know when I see a Dr. that I’m familiar with I can be guaranteed that all testing will be done and I’ll know what’s wrong with me in the end.  I can’t exactly say the same for the hospitals I have visited in Qatar.  After four weeks of being in and out of the hospital(s) for “unknown” illnesses (lol… I can laugh now), I think I can accurately sum up the health care system here with one word: Inconsistent.  

The hospitals themselves are all fairly new, clean, and modern looking so that’s a huge plus.  The wait time is minimal....30 minutes at the most. The drugs and care is damn near free.  The Doctors come from all different countries; most of them speak Arabic but make a good attempt at speaking/ understanding English.  My experience varied greatly from having a few Doctors who spoke little English and barely understood what was wrong with me.  Who then diagnosis me with Influenza and prescribed me flu medication that I ended up being allergic to.  Clearly me saying I'm allergic to Penicillin wasn’t an alert for don’t prescribe me anything with any form of penicillin in it duh! Next experience, an ER Doctor swore that I had symptoms of Lupus and wanted to inject me (in a place I wont mention) to help with my sudden joint pain and swelling of my face, feet, and hands.  Oh hell nah!

Thank god for the Specialist that I was assigned to after causing a full out scene in the hospital and threatening to call a lawyer…..sometimes being a little crazy “Brooklyn/Bronx” pays off☺  The miracle working specialist that I seen ran every test possible to find out what was going on with my body, and why I couldn’t seem to shake this flu, Lupus-like joint pains & swelling, and headaches.  He was very knowledgeable, comforting, and gentle especially given my current mental state.  So one Doctor out of 4 that I seen who actually made me feel like I didn’t need to hop on a plane back to the United States. Extremely grateful that God allowed him to cross my path during my urgent time of need.

A family of my own 
As a child, I was always mystified by those girls who always wanted to play "Mommy" or "House." It just never held the same allure to me. Sure, I liked Barbies, but I was pretending they were flying around the world or solving mysteries, not having babies or getting married to Ken.  In my 20s, I was equally bewildered by all the women I met who dreamed of being moms more than career women and those that actually felt that it was what they were meant to do. Totally, freaking baffling to me. I just never got it. I know I'm not alone.

Somewhere between clearing the sand from my eyes after landing in Doha and getting a new job offer at a school (I’m still not sure I even want to work at), I suddenly realized that I do want to have a family.  I have never been the I want kids type (maybe b/c I worked in schools) or I want a family of my own type, but something recently clicked inside of me.  And inshallah it will happen. In the way its suppose to and when its suppose to!

Becoming A Minimalist 

Minimalist 

When I moved away from New York City, I vowed to myself that I would simplify, simplify, simplify.  Too much of my lifestyle: work, family, and personal was filled with excessive clutter.  I use to think that there were just a few things that I needed to make me happy and somehow over the last few years, I lost sight of that.  Once I was OK with just being who I am and not being defined by material possessions.  I have slowly started to remove the unnecessary headaches and possessions from my life and cut back on outside commitments, everything else has become incrementally clearer.  I am finally at a place where the distractions are so few that I have to figure out what I’m going to do with all of the empty space in my closet and my brain.  Peace is a wonderful thing.


Words of wisdom - Lesson I recently learnt
It's possible. The only thing between where you are now and having, creating, finishing and completing those seemingly impossible items is your belief that it's not.  If it's something you're driven to create in your life or self, you've been gifted with all the necessary tools, skills, drive and connections you need to make it happen.

That's a FACT!
  

What a Magnificent Journey......

True or False:  Some people are too scared of change.  
Yeah, I know it’s a pretty strong statement but the more I analyze people’s behaviors over the past few years, it’s the only logical conclusion I could come to at this point in time.  Even when things are bad, people are willing to just settle instead of taking a risk that might completely alter their life, their lifestyle, or even better the whole world’s perception of them.

Some people are too scared to change!  This statement alone has motivated me to make decisions in my own life over the past year that I probably wouldn’t have dreamt about otherwise.  Life is about change, growth, finding new things to love, and self-discovery……I constantly ask myself how will this ever happen when you never step outside of your comfort zone.  I don’t want to look back in 5 years and think Selina you had the potential to embrace many facets of life and didn’t take hold of it wholeheartedly because you were scared of change. Believe it can be done!

Performing Random acts of kindness is my 2013 new years resolution:  I know, I know that sounds kind of peculiar considering that people often make resolutions that are self-centered and most often revolve around self-improvement.  Which I don’t knock at all…..Im a big fan of improving oneself and becoming your better self each and everyday.  But my resolution this year is about more than just me, it’s about changing the way the world thinks, one person at a time.  For me its not enough to be nice, kind, and loving to the people who mean the most to us ie family, friends, coworkers; how different might this world be if we performed random acts of kindness across the board to even those we didn’t know?

I must admit this resolution is attributed to a few of my good friends/family who sent such random gifts, thinking of you pieces, and pictures at a time when I was at my lowest point here in Doha.  And guess what?  It made a world of difference in my attitude, temperament towards other people, and my overall outlook on Qatar.  These small random acts of kindness gave me a big reason to continue paying it forward and believing that one little thing can change a person’s life (even if you don’t know that it does).

3 Countries, 6 Months:  I considered myself a reasonably frequent traveler when I lived in the US, but I must confess that the traveling I’m doing now has truly opened up my eyes to a new world, countless cultures and beautiful individuals I meet on my daily journey.  I have been here a total of 6 months (I know where has the time gone) and have traveled to three countries not including Thailand and London pending this spring.  Who would have thought a year ago February 2012 (miserable at BLCS lol) I would be sitting here today writing a blog from the pool in Dubai while taking in the Middle Eastern ambience.  I am blessed. I am thankful. I am reflective.

Irregularities of work life:  As I gear up to destroy lol the next three months of school ☺, I have already begun to focus forward and anticipate the changes I will endure the next school year as I move into a different position.  It seems as though the last five years of my life have been about evolving and developing; and I guess now more than ever I’m actually craving some normalcy in my work routine.  But no such luck for me! I know with this change in title there will be countless obstacles seen and unforeseen.  I only pray for guidance in dealing with the many personalities and egos.  I have to keep reminding myself….it’s all for a greater purpose…there is a master plan.  I believe it can be done!    

Life Lessons:  
This is a saying that someone once said to me
“EVERYDAY IS YOUR TEACHER”.

Meaning there is a lesson to be learned with every situation.  As my days go forward and I think of my journey here in Doha these are the top 5 lessons I have been fortunate to learn thus far:
1. Things aren’t always going to work out perfect. No matter how hard we try!
2. Everything happens in God’s time (that’s for another blog later down the line)
3. Words are powerful.  They can be used for good or for evil
4. I deserve what I work hard for and should fully enjoy it.  Tomorrow isn’t promised.
5. Paying it forward DOES change people

End of Year Reflection and annoying things about Qatar

Self-Reflection:
18 weeks ago, I moved to Qatar in hopes of exploring the world outside of the U.S and rediscovering myself as an Educator.  Although my journey has just begun, I can truly say that it’s an eye-opening, heart-throbbing, reflective experience.  With each new day I learn something new about myself and my own desires…..which I think would surprise even some of my closest friends.  I guess that’s what life is about agh reincarnation and rebirth!

Things that I find most annoying about Qatar:
1. This is a Muslim country and alcohol is prohibited for Muslim residents based on religious beliefs and values.  I can respect and appreciate that they want to live a certain way.  However, the fact that expats have to go all the way to west bubble to the liquor warehouse to purchase wine is a little annoying.  I guess the fact that it isn’t readily convenient is a deterrent in itself and makes people less likely to drink here…..guess they win!  You will absolutely not see a bunch of drunk people at night here in Doha getting into fights or causing trouble.  Lol …smart Qatar☺

2. Again because we are in a “relatively modest” country the government is allowed to block and edit things that they find offensive in nature across every aspect of one’s life.  For example: That means the sex scenes in movies are cut, nudity is non-existent on the tv or the internet, and the mention of any other religion is basically banned publicly.  The thing is that while I find it annoying that many movies I have seen back home are cut and chopped here, it is more annoying to me that they allow cursing like nothing I have seen in the US before.  So kids are watching tv here and can hear things like cunt, bitch, slut, dick, mf’er….how does that make sense?  Is one better than the other?

3. Men in this region of the world wear two types of clothing: Either you are wearing a thawb (thobe) which is an ankle-length garment, usually with long sleeves, similar to a robe.  In Qatar you will see many men in crisp white thawb’s that look pretty fresh actually!  However, you will also see men who don’t wear thawb’s, with incredibly tight pants on….nothing like I’ve seen before.  I mean they might really give a new meaning to skinny jeans for men. Seriously if your jeans are so tight that I can see your “package” then that’s a freaking problem.  Not to mention that their physiques are interesting to say the least….bellies that stick out further than some women rotfl.

4. Why is there non-alcoholic beer and liquor in the grocery stores here? Yeah, same thing I thought wtf if you can’t drink alcohol because it is bad or sacrilegious than why in the hell do you have people: drinking, commercializing, and advertising “forms” of it. So utterly confusing to me!  Even more confusing that I know some Muslims who drink alcohol here….but believe me there is no judgment on my part….I realize that it depends on whether you are a Muslim fundamentalist and how strong your belief is.

5. Last but not least I hate that I am being charged a “fee” everytime I transfer Riyals to dollars across my bank accounts.  I feel like I’m getting ripped off and the bank is making lots of money off of us.  What choice do I have though? Just about all of our bills and loan payments come from our Chase account in the States.  My husband is trying to find a way around this as we speak…..wish us luck.


Qatar National Day:
A national commemoration of Qatar's unification and independence and is celebrated on December 18 every year. The holiday was established by a June 21, 2007 decree of the Emir and Heir Apparent Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad al-Thani. In 1867 the Al Khalifa military of Bahrain launched a successful effort to crush the Qatari rebels, sending a massive naval force to Al Wakrah.  So on this day, December 18 Qatar commemorates the founding of the state of Qatar in December 1878.   Here are some great pictures that will give you some insight into this school-wide, community wide, Nation-wide celebration in Qatar!

Off to Sri Lanka in 48 hours…….I will surely post and update you on our adventure once we arrive!

Quote to live by:   It’s not that everything will be easy or exactly as you had expected, but you must just choose to be grateful for all that you have, and happy that you got a chance to live this life, no matter how it turns out.

After a holiday.....Before a holiday

PRAYER

It only took 105 days before I got down right tired of the prayer call! If you remember reading my initial post; day 2, 3, 4 my arrival in Doha, you will recall how spiritually awakened I felt by the call to prayer….yeah well now it’s just annoying rotfl (with all due respect).  The prayer call wakes me up in the morning at 4:15am (about an hour before I actually need to get up) and then is heard four more times throughout the day.  Now don’t get me wrong I still think there is something moving and dedicated about people who pray five times a day religiously.  Im just feeling like why does the prayer song/call have to happen five times a day publicly….especially in the wee hours of the morning IF every Muslim knows that they are mandated to pray 5 times. I mean how can they forget if it is in their religion….and why do they need a loud ass reminder that lasts about 3 minutes every single day? Im just sayin’

THANKSGIVING

Thanksgiving was exceptionally challenging this year.  Within the last few years, I came to the realization that I am a family person and most holidays I would rather spend with my family/friends than to do anything else.  I enjoy the random arguments, the catching up on each other’s lives, recalling precious family memories, and simply loving each other for our differences.  This year I skyped with my WHOLE family and it almost tricked me into feeling like I was at home.  The smiling faces, the supportive phrases, and the endless jokes showed me how much I was missed…. the 40 minutes of skyping was worth it. I’m in a new country surrounded by palm trees, a different language, and no family but I decided it didn’t mean that I had to give up on tradition.  Amanda and Mike made the best Thanksgiving dinner I could have asked for being away from homeJ I was surrounded by supportive people who just like me, were thankful to be alive and healthy another year. 

This year I am Thankful for friends:  Friends are people in our lives that never falter, leave us, or give up on us. Their mere presence in our lives can give us the much-needed boost, strength, and self-esteem to keep going. Without them, perhaps our lives will be pretty dull, boring, and uninteresting.

LIFE

Life is not guaranteed….not a question but a statement.  After facing a very unfortunate event this past week overseas, I find myself questioning why things happen to seemingly incident people.  I realize I’m not God and cant possibly explain how, why, or when things will happen, but it really does make you think about the type of people who live in the world in general.  This is the best quote that I could find to sum up my feelings…..“Be grateful for all you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need.”

NEXT HOLIDAY

My Christmas trip to Sri Lanka is 20 days away!  After lots of research here are the top things to do…PLEASE feel free to add to my list if you’ve visited before, I appreciate any and all tipsJ  

1.   Surf….I hear Sri Lanka is the beginner Surfers paradise and I intend to find out

2.   Adams Peak is Sri Lanka’s most sacred site.  I will pay homage to the first place that Adam stepped foot on earth when he was cast down from Heaven.

3.   Ride the Train. I hear Sri Lanka’s trains are like stepping back in time. They are said to chug slowly along through hills and valleys.  I’m excited for a slow journey through the country.

4.   Yala National Park.  Who doesn’t want to see leopards?

5.   Ride in a Tuk Tuk taxi and hopefully see an Elephant and Leopard

Eid al adha compared to Christmas ....among other random things

Eid al adha: The reason for my 10 day vacation/ holiday  

Eid is an important 3-day religious holiday celebrated by Muslims worldwide to honor the willingness of ʾIbrāhīm (Abraham) to sacrifice his son Ismā'īl (Ishmael) as an act of obedience to God, before God intervened to provide him with a ram to sacrifice instead.  Men, women and children are expected to dress in their finest clothing to perform Eid prayer in a large congregation is an open waqf field or mosque. Those Muslims, who can afford, sacrifice their best halal domestic animals (usually a cow, but can also be a camel, goat, sheep depending on the region) as a symbol of Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his only son. This tradition accounts for more than 100 million slaughtering of animals in only 2 days of Eid costing over $3 billion US.

Well, Christmas like Eid al adha is a hugely popular holiday celebrated by some 2 billion people worldwide.  It's become such an ingrained part of modern culture that even people in nations with little or no Christian history or tradition are celebrating it in increasing numbers.  Christmas is so big that it plays a key role in the economies of many nations. Oh “Black Friday” so many wait for thee!

Some similarities between Eid al adha and Christmas: 

1.     Children are given gifts when they visit relatives and friends homes

2.     People have big feast and invite many visitors

3.     People go out and spend money that they don’t really have to celebrate

4.     Many celebrate only out of tradition or obligation, not religious belief

While I’m not against religious worship, I realize I’m against any holiday(s) that obliges people to spend above their means and/or make people who have very little feel shameful about their financial situation. Being away from it can cause one to realize the behavior is neither missed nor needed for fulfillment and enjoyment of life.  This is the first time I’ve gotten a glimpse into the Muslim culture so (without being judgmental), I honestly can’t understand why people who don’t make tons of money would go out and purchase gifts for other people’s kids (some of which don’t even deserve presents) just to say they celebrated this holiday.  Isn’t it enough to show how much you love them in other ways?

Lack of Customer Service – Does it have something to do with my skin color?

You never get a second chance to make a good first impression" still holds true today, especially in the hospitality industry, and equally important is the guest's lasting impression.  I thought that the customer service quality in nyc was questionable at times, but now I can fully appreciate how good customer service makes your eating, shopping, or browsing experience a lot more pleasurable.  Race is not and should not be a distinguishing factor in how a person is greeted, treated, waited upon, or addressed.  Unfortunately Im finding that to be very different in a country where most brown people are servants or laborers.   

For me customer service should be colorblind. People should be treated equally, regardless of skin color.  I should feel comfortable no matter where I go and it should means that the rules of business apply the same to one and all.  A simple smile, an acknowledgement, and occasional pleasant small talk when I enter a place of business is the only affirmation I need on a daily basis.  I should not have to feel like I fight for respect and proper treatment every time I enter a store.  I have gone into places with many of my white friends and have seen the kind of treatment they receive simply because of their skin color and the connotation associated with them.  It is off putting to say the least….come on Doha step your game up!

Exploring Doha

This week I went on a mini-tour of the city of Doha.  After living here for over 10 weeks, I realized that I haven’t seen much of the surrounding city.  Here are the things I was able to do on my vacation for Eid al adha:

1.     Islamic Art Museum

2.     Visit the Souq Waqif

3.     Corniche

4.     Dhow Boat ride

5.     Diva Spa Lounge

Check out the pictures……definitely glad I took the time to explore the city.  Although Doha is a lot smaller than nyc, it does have little gems. 

Stepping outside of your Comfort Zone = New Experiences

We come from around the world to Educate our future!

Before we made a final decision about moving overseas, I remember talking to some of my co-workers and the overarching sentiment was that uprooting my life was absolutely crazy.....borderline insane at this stage in my "career".  I remember feeling like maybe they are right, and overseas education is best suited for young people who don’t have secure jobs, living situations, or family commitments.  Without really knowing what “type” of people we would encounter here…..we decided to take the leap of faith and come anyway.  It’s funny because I do think people were right in one aspect, it does take a certain type of person to move overseas and leave everything back at home.  

Since August I have met and had dinner with some pretty interesting & eccentric people.  Most of them aren't 25 years old at all.  Many of the people I have met are well-traveled, cultured, educated, and simply spontaneous by nature.  The ages range from 24 to 50 in terms of Teachers with a nice mix of nationalities from American, Canadian, African, European, and Asian.  As I slowly start to learn about other cultures and viewpoints on life, I find myself readjusting my own perspectives and beliefs.  Change is good.  Best way to grow.

Lesson:  Stepping outside of your comfortable zone is a great thing......you might just make a difference somewhere in the world .

Without the head wrap could you really tell the difference btw me and her?

Skin Color:  Living in America I rarely had to deal with overt racism or experience an extreme disparity in treatment based on my skin color.  In the Middle East Black is not thought to be beautiful.  I’m finding that there are two very different elements constantly at play here in the Middle East: My Skin color and My Nationality.  Looking at just my skin color most Arabs automatically think that I’m from Africa and assume that I traveled to the Middle East for a “menial job opportunity”.  Millions of foreigners in the Middle East are nannies, cleaners and builders/construction workers which locals consider beneath them.  Al-akhdam (“the servants”), who make up perhaps 65% of the population, are confined to menial jobs and tend to dwell in what they call the slums (which isn’t really the slums if you compare it to nyc projects).  Snobbery makes things worst here.  

         

I’m finding that once they hear me speak or ask where I’m from, their whole attitude and demeanor changes.  You can see the light bulbs go off ….Oh she speaks “English” and she is from America…..I automatically get a higher ranking than even Muslims or other Europeans do here.  It is very bizarre to me that my nationality triumphs my skin color, but my proper English means even more especially in my profession.  

The other thing that I almost forgot to mention is that my hair plays against me here at bit (I can tell my hair completely confuses them).  They don’t know how to process what my hair is, means, or how I got it to look like this lol.  You wouldn’t believe the number of students who simply stare at my hair or ask me questions about whether it is real.  And don’t get me started with the stupid fucking Qatar women I had to scream on for invading my personal space and touching my hair because they thought it was “nice” wtf! Seriously anyone who knows me can tell exactly how my face looked at that momentJ 

With that said, I’m learning to take my unique hair in stride and my “inconspicuous” ethnicity as symbol of strength and pride. 

Lesson: Racism can occur any where in the world.  Even places where their skin tone so closely resembles “Black”.  Stupidity isn’t unique to the US.  

      

Travel:  There are very specific things that I wanted to get out of my overseas experience.  One of the biggest goals for me was to travel and see the world in a way that I never was able to do back home.  With work consuming less and less of my life (thank God), I’m finding it easier to get out and do the things that keep me feeling young.  I say all of this to say, for the past two weeks, I have been contemplating whether I should go home for the holidays.  I have been gone from the US since August and lets be honest I miss the hell out of my family and friends.  But after much thought (and looking at ticket prices $1,500 for a ticket @Christmas fml) I have instead decided to travel to places around this region of the world that would cost me a fraction of that amount.  The itinerary has not been completely decided as of yet, but here are the top three choices I’ve narrowed it down to:

      a)    Dubai, Sri Lanka

Sri Lanka 

      b)   Istanbul, London or Berlin

      c)    Nepal and Phuket, Thailand   

Now you see why I decided it might be better at this time to just travel right? Two places for under $1000 (including hotel stay and breakfast every morning.) So friends and family please weigh in where do you think we should go? Any experience with any of the travel locations listed? Keep in mind this is where we would be spending NYE, so I gotta make it worth while if I’m missing the parties in NYC.

Istanbul, Turkey 

Lesson:  You only live once.  Travel is food for the soul.