I'm evolving....and it's a good thing!

Three apartment moves in one country done!

Two weeks of professional development done!

First week of School done!

One tired Selina!

The job 
So after months of accumulating ideas, concerns, and areas of weakness for the school, I put together a professional development that I was pleased with.  It was not perfect by far, not “exactly” what I wanted or precisely the exact thing every teacher needed but it was a huge step in the right direction.  I have always taken great pride in loving my staff, trusting their professionalism, listening to their concerns and responding accordingly.  I feel gratified that this is still true after being out of the classroom in administration for 3+ years now.  In a school, your staff is one of your most valued commodities and I have literally seen schools crumple (no names mentioned lol) because they didn't value and/or support their staff members.  I always promised myself that when I left the classroom, I would remain an educator at heart and always think about what is best for all stakeholders.  I’m glad to still be in a position where I can uphold this and the bureaucracy hasn't hindered my vision.

Out of professional development this year came many school-wide changes that I don’t think most people expected (administration and teachers included).  I had three goals for professional development this year:
1. To transform the culture of the school (the culture of achievement, as well as, culture of school-wide expectations).
2. To develop one school = one team, building moral and school spirit
3. To develop consistency around academics and quality instruction in every division (from Reading to PE, from ECC to Secondary)
Its definitely too early to say whether any of the goals were achieved, but it is crystal clear that the school has begun to move in the right direction.  Small victories…☺

The position, my age, and dealing with change
As you recall, I was promoted to a new position this year and now I am the Head of Learning and Instruction.  Which on the surface seems like an awesome position to have and a great next step up the career ladder for me.…hmmmm…. What people in these positions don’t often talk about is how lonely it is as you move further up the career ladder, especially as a black woman.  I’m not much of a “sharer” actually people would probably call me an “under-sharer” as I keep everything contained inside; but this is something I feel like is important to share so people understand me, as a person.  I’m in a very awkward position this year. The other administrations are all very much older than me and I don't quite fit into their social group (and I’m fine with) because frankly I think they don't know how to categorize the people me and my husband’s are.  Most teachers either see me as their “boss” and are afraid to talk to me (let along do any social activities with me) OR feel like because I’m married I don't enjoy doing a lot of things that singles do lol.  And then throw in the fact that I’m the only Black American in the school, which I’m sure for many this is their 1st interaction with someone from my culture and so that adds on a level of apprehension.  It is a situation I am not use to…..where I come from… faculty and administration cross-over or at least have some staff social functions together….but this is all so dissimilar.  But all of that said I realize I am also a bit of a loner and desire space away from the people I work with.  Need to find a balance……I guess it all takes some adjusting to ah?

In sickness and health:
Last year as you can remember I got an awful virus working here in Qatar.  The virus was definitely debilitating on my immune system and skeletal system as it severely affected all my major joints.  In and out of the hospital for weeks, I can say that was not one of our high moments overseas.  However, my husband was such a rockstar and positive motivator especially on days that I didn't have a positive thing to say about the country, the job, or my experience here.  So I continue to ask him are you sure you meant in sickness and health lol!  This year his patience and unconditional love will once again be tested as we found out that I am expecting.  Which meant not only could I not help move a lot of our stuff in August, but I have had morning (afternoon & evening…hell pretty much all day) sickness, mood swings, and fatigue.  Yet another year I will ask him to remain my rock in sickness and health☺ With morning sickness done whew, mood swings subsiding, and the overall fatigue lightening up…..perhaps I should do something nice for him before he has to take care of me again rotfl.  Surprise vacation might do the trick?


Travel adventures before “Labor Day”
The labor day I refer to is now the week of March 13th.  As I think about my  upcoming breaks and the new addition to our family, I am trying to figure out how we can fit in at least another 2 vacations before I officially cant fly.  I was thinking hard about Phuket and Bangkok for Christmas but now I have to go home to do some baby celebrating with the family & friends.  Perhaps we can still get in Oman, Turkey, and Maldives since they are all relatively close to Qatar.  I have three breaks to work with but my travel bug isn’t quite kicking in……any recommendations for Caribbean island destinations during the Christmas holiday that are easy to escape to if we will be in NY?

Poem of the week:
Don't Quit
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Year 2: Gotta be better than year 1

This quote pretty much sums up my life:
I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing!  
 ~ Agathe Christle 

London, England:
What a beautiful place!?!  London reminds me a lot of New York City: pubs, taxis, incredibly expensive, beautiful people, luxury accommodations, restaurants, parks and Broadway shows.   Overall impression.....London was a crowded, fast and huge bustling city.

I stayed in Greater London for my conference (but traveled into the city during the evenings) and that area was more like a lot of little towns and villages joined together.  Each neighborhood seemed to have its own character. Some were very nice. Some were dangerous and unsettling.  Much like NY there seems to be a vast range of wealth.  It appears that some of the richest people in the world live in London.  On the other hand, some very poor people live on the streets in cardboard boxes too.

The tube (London’s underground subway) is pretty brilliant; you can cross the city quickly and easily, and it is one of the best-connected systems I’ve been on (after NYC of course lol).  London when measured against other major cities in the world seems to still be worthy of its place near the top of the list as one of the world’s top cities.  I think the pubs and food moved their ranking to the top for me!

Summer in NYC:
So my summer in NYC was a whirlwind, tornado, cyclone all wrapped in one (Elena told me it would be and I should have listened)!  It is impossible to put into context the amount of people you feel obligated to see, dinners and drinks, and money I spent getting together to see some familiar faces.  While it was a very exhausting and time consuming trip, I appreciated every moment of catching up with family and friends.  A lot has changed since I have been gone in Qatar; but many things stayed the same.  While it was comfortable to come home to familiar surroundings, I found myself feeling out of place in my longtime home.  Didn’t think it would only take me one year for me to realize that living in NYC isn’t for me anymore.

The things you learn as you get older (and hopefully wiser)...

1. The rumors are true: your metabolism does slow down as you get older! That means if you’re still eating whatever you want, there’s a good chance you’ll start to gain an awkward amount of weight.
2. You’re going to have people in your life who are toxic. They may say that they love you, they may say that they have your back, but they don’t. Get rid of them.
3. Always swallow your pride to say you’re sorry. Being too proud to apologize is never worth it — your relationship suffers for no good benefit. (my husband helped me learn this)
4. The moment is all there is.  All our worries and plans about the future, all our replaying of things that happened in the past — it’s all in our heads, and it just distracts us from fully living right now. Let go of all that, and just focus on what you’re doing, right at this moment. 
5. You can’t motivate people. The best you can hope for is to inspire them with your actions. 
6. You are so lucky to have everything that you have. Stop crying about stupid shit and get some perspective.

Year 2
The next segment of my journey in the Middle East has officially begun.  We just moved into the flat at the Pearl, which is a man-made Island here in Doha Qatar (kinda dope).  The pearl tower we moved into is similar to our apartment back in NYC, except the amenities in this tower makes this a huge upgrade in terms of apartments.  Lap pool, Jacuzzi, sauna, squash/tennis court, bbq deck area, fitness gym, doorman, concierge, taxis on call, maid service, and 2 bathrooms (yes lord two lol).  As I sit back here in my new pearl Doha flat taking in the sights, smells, and sounds; and all I can think is that God has truly blessed me and taken me down a path unforeseen.  Now don’t get me wrong the work and hours I will have to put in this year will be compensation for these perks and accommodations…but its all worth it right?

If someone asked me two years ago back at Lighthouse where I would be today, I would say with certainty in a Principalship somewhere in the inner city.  Just goes to show you that our plan isn’t always what God has planned for us.  His plan is divine and great....way beyond our imagination.

What you know about 109 degrees (42c) ?!?!

Ever went in a sauna on a hot 

Summer day?

 

Yeah, well that gives you a good idea about how it feels in Qatar right now…as I slowly countdown the hours until I leave for London!  I know that I have said this many times before, but I swear to you the heat here is like nothing I have ever experienced (not Mexico, DR, Caribbean, Cali).  To help you put it into perspective envision this:

•        There are literally no people outside until after 4pm.  Its like a ghost town all over the city of Doha before the sun sets.  As the sun declines, the city suddenly comes alive (and I use that word loosely) and traffic steadily builds. 
•       The cars are hot, no, like hot to the touch.  I was in my drivers’ car yesterday looking at apartments for next year and he showed me a cd that had been destroyed along with the deck of his car because of the oppressive heat.  I’m telling you, we gotta be closer to the sun than in NYC lol.  Bump into a car out here and you might just get a third degree burn.
•       Some might think going to the pool and/or beach in this heat provides relief.  And it does for all of a few minutes.  Unless you plan to sit in the water all day (drink and book in hand) then you are going to die of heat exhaustion sitting outside all day.  Definitely not like the states where you can just have a beach day and not have to worry about intense sunburn and dehydration. 
•       No walks in the park (well they don’t really have parks here anyway), No sitting outside people watching, Definitely No eating outside, and Definitely SUNGLASSES, HATS, & SCARVES all the time. 
•       Last but not least, I can do Bikram (Hot Yoga) outside....beat that shit!  

330 days away from NYC - so fast, yet so long

There is approximately 14 days left until the end of term and my first full school year working in Qatar! I made it whewwww…but believe me there were times when I didn’t think I would.  I have learnt to P.U.S.H (Pray Until Something Happens) more than ever before in my life this year.  Between health and physical problems, the stress of moving overseas and uprooting my whole life, culture shock and work shock (yeah work shock lol) everything almost put me over the edge.  Happy to say that what doesn’t kill you, does indeed make you stronger. Or at least smarter, the next time around.

So many of my friends & family ask what have I gotten out of this Middle Eastern experience and why have I decided to stay here another year…despite the 108 degrees (42c) sweat sauna of a country Qatar is.   I guess the best way to put it is to say:  Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it.  And that’s what I appreciate about this whole experience.  Although it is not how I imagined it to be, I am having firsthand-unanticipated encounters that continue to change me as a person, my perspectives, and beliefs.  Clarity sometimes comes from the weirdest experiences!

Have my views about Qatar changed?

Well, not much they are still some of the rudest, impatient group of people I have ever met in my life.  And they say NYers are loud and rude….these Qataris act like the earth was truly made for them and you should be at their mercy daily.  It is definitely off-putting especially when dealing with some of the condensing higher than mighty parents. (doesn’t help that I’m a black woman either but I hold my own J) I still believe that they are wasteful, lack structure, and crave massive amounts of attention (both kids & adults alike).  BUT I can appreciate that they are of a different culture and I’m stepping into their bizarro world.

 

Schools Out for Summmmmmmmer

We will be leaving for London in a couple of days and I am beyond excited to see all the London sites.  If anyone has tips, please feel free to pass them along!  Can’t lie it will be nice to finally be in a country where I can freely kiss my husband, wear short sleeves….shit maybe even strapless shirts, wear shorts and drink at places other than hotel lounges.  Yes, it will be nice to get a breather away from the M.E for a little minute.  Of course after London, Im coming home (in my Diddy voice)…New York I'm coming home! 

Flashback from one of my 1st blogs in Qatar- (how funny to read this now)

Eat: My quest for familiar food is an unresolved conundrum.  I decided to venture into the seafood section of the market today, which for a normal person living in a regular city doesn’t seem like a big deal but for me it took all the courage I could conjure up to walk in.  Not only is the fish section very smelly (lol) and unorganized, it is also a bit intimidating for a woman who isn’t use to shouting out orders to get help.  There are no order numbers, no real serving lines, and pretty much no “method to their madness” here.  I went in and called myself being polite, but after about all of 4 minutes I had to make my presence known.  All within these 4 minutes, I also realize that the shrimps are prawns with all sorts of antennas pointing at me and the fish all have full heads/tails. WTF!!!! Ok, so I figured out my order super quick and asked in my most polite voice can you please cut & clean them for me?  The butcher shouts yes…. and I’m thinking SCORE!  Well, not so much because when I get my final order the antennas are removed from the prawns, but the fish simply have an incision in their heads and the scales have been removed.  Great, so is that what clean the freaking fish means here? Shoot me! Now I have to look at fish eyes in my sink as I attempt to cut off the fish heads for dinner tonight.  Wholefood’s how I miss thee! 

Clearing the sand from my eyes

I deliberately named this blog....clearing the sand from my eyes because that is exactly what I feel I have been doing both figuratively and literally the last few months.  What a game-changing adventure the Middle East has turned out to be ?!?

I’ve spent most of my last five years trying to get myself setup for the “future”.  In doing so I have lost touch of the things that matter most: living life, health, and happiness.  When you work endless hours and go to school at night, you don’t give much thought to how much of your days, hours, weeks are being lost.  Time much like health is something that you simply can’t get back once it’s lost.  That’s why its important to only give your time to things that you truly value and things that will enhance your overall life.  Ask yourself.....how do you spend your time?  Is it worth it?


Hospitals Overseas
There is something to be said for getting sick in your own country! The NY hospitals and Doctors I have known, loved, and loathed throughout the years oh how I miss thee. Even when the wait time is hours lol, at least I know when I see a Dr. that I’m familiar with I can be guaranteed that all testing will be done and I’ll know what’s wrong with me in the end.  I can’t exactly say the same for the hospitals I have visited in Qatar.  After four weeks of being in and out of the hospital(s) for “unknown” illnesses (lol… I can laugh now), I think I can accurately sum up the health care system here with one word: Inconsistent.  

The hospitals themselves are all fairly new, clean, and modern looking so that’s a huge plus.  The wait time is minimal....30 minutes at the most. The drugs and care is damn near free.  The Doctors come from all different countries; most of them speak Arabic but make a good attempt at speaking/ understanding English.  My experience varied greatly from having a few Doctors who spoke little English and barely understood what was wrong with me.  Who then diagnosis me with Influenza and prescribed me flu medication that I ended up being allergic to.  Clearly me saying I'm allergic to Penicillin wasn’t an alert for don’t prescribe me anything with any form of penicillin in it duh! Next experience, an ER Doctor swore that I had symptoms of Lupus and wanted to inject me (in a place I wont mention) to help with my sudden joint pain and swelling of my face, feet, and hands.  Oh hell nah!

Thank god for the Specialist that I was assigned to after causing a full out scene in the hospital and threatening to call a lawyer…..sometimes being a little crazy “Brooklyn/Bronx” pays off☺  The miracle working specialist that I seen ran every test possible to find out what was going on with my body, and why I couldn’t seem to shake this flu, Lupus-like joint pains & swelling, and headaches.  He was very knowledgeable, comforting, and gentle especially given my current mental state.  So one Doctor out of 4 that I seen who actually made me feel like I didn’t need to hop on a plane back to the United States. Extremely grateful that God allowed him to cross my path during my urgent time of need.

A family of my own 
As a child, I was always mystified by those girls who always wanted to play "Mommy" or "House." It just never held the same allure to me. Sure, I liked Barbies, but I was pretending they were flying around the world or solving mysteries, not having babies or getting married to Ken.  In my 20s, I was equally bewildered by all the women I met who dreamed of being moms more than career women and those that actually felt that it was what they were meant to do. Totally, freaking baffling to me. I just never got it. I know I'm not alone.

Somewhere between clearing the sand from my eyes after landing in Doha and getting a new job offer at a school (I’m still not sure I even want to work at), I suddenly realized that I do want to have a family.  I have never been the I want kids type (maybe b/c I worked in schools) or I want a family of my own type, but something recently clicked inside of me.  And inshallah it will happen. In the way its suppose to and when its suppose to!

Becoming A Minimalist 

Minimalist 

When I moved away from New York City, I vowed to myself that I would simplify, simplify, simplify.  Too much of my lifestyle: work, family, and personal was filled with excessive clutter.  I use to think that there were just a few things that I needed to make me happy and somehow over the last few years, I lost sight of that.  Once I was OK with just being who I am and not being defined by material possessions.  I have slowly started to remove the unnecessary headaches and possessions from my life and cut back on outside commitments, everything else has become incrementally clearer.  I am finally at a place where the distractions are so few that I have to figure out what I’m going to do with all of the empty space in my closet and my brain.  Peace is a wonderful thing.


Words of wisdom - Lesson I recently learnt
It's possible. The only thing between where you are now and having, creating, finishing and completing those seemingly impossible items is your belief that it's not.  If it's something you're driven to create in your life or self, you've been gifted with all the necessary tools, skills, drive and connections you need to make it happen.

That's a FACT!
  

What a Magnificent Journey......

True or False:  Some people are too scared of change.  
Yeah, I know it’s a pretty strong statement but the more I analyze people’s behaviors over the past few years, it’s the only logical conclusion I could come to at this point in time.  Even when things are bad, people are willing to just settle instead of taking a risk that might completely alter their life, their lifestyle, or even better the whole world’s perception of them.

Some people are too scared to change!  This statement alone has motivated me to make decisions in my own life over the past year that I probably wouldn’t have dreamt about otherwise.  Life is about change, growth, finding new things to love, and self-discovery……I constantly ask myself how will this ever happen when you never step outside of your comfort zone.  I don’t want to look back in 5 years and think Selina you had the potential to embrace many facets of life and didn’t take hold of it wholeheartedly because you were scared of change. Believe it can be done!

Performing Random acts of kindness is my 2013 new years resolution:  I know, I know that sounds kind of peculiar considering that people often make resolutions that are self-centered and most often revolve around self-improvement.  Which I don’t knock at all…..Im a big fan of improving oneself and becoming your better self each and everyday.  But my resolution this year is about more than just me, it’s about changing the way the world thinks, one person at a time.  For me its not enough to be nice, kind, and loving to the people who mean the most to us ie family, friends, coworkers; how different might this world be if we performed random acts of kindness across the board to even those we didn’t know?

I must admit this resolution is attributed to a few of my good friends/family who sent such random gifts, thinking of you pieces, and pictures at a time when I was at my lowest point here in Doha.  And guess what?  It made a world of difference in my attitude, temperament towards other people, and my overall outlook on Qatar.  These small random acts of kindness gave me a big reason to continue paying it forward and believing that one little thing can change a person’s life (even if you don’t know that it does).

3 Countries, 6 Months:  I considered myself a reasonably frequent traveler when I lived in the US, but I must confess that the traveling I’m doing now has truly opened up my eyes to a new world, countless cultures and beautiful individuals I meet on my daily journey.  I have been here a total of 6 months (I know where has the time gone) and have traveled to three countries not including Thailand and London pending this spring.  Who would have thought a year ago February 2012 (miserable at BLCS lol) I would be sitting here today writing a blog from the pool in Dubai while taking in the Middle Eastern ambience.  I am blessed. I am thankful. I am reflective.

Irregularities of work life:  As I gear up to destroy lol the next three months of school ☺, I have already begun to focus forward and anticipate the changes I will endure the next school year as I move into a different position.  It seems as though the last five years of my life have been about evolving and developing; and I guess now more than ever I’m actually craving some normalcy in my work routine.  But no such luck for me! I know with this change in title there will be countless obstacles seen and unforeseen.  I only pray for guidance in dealing with the many personalities and egos.  I have to keep reminding myself….it’s all for a greater purpose…there is a master plan.  I believe it can be done!    

Life Lessons:  
This is a saying that someone once said to me
“EVERYDAY IS YOUR TEACHER”.

Meaning there is a lesson to be learned with every situation.  As my days go forward and I think of my journey here in Doha these are the top 5 lessons I have been fortunate to learn thus far:
1. Things aren’t always going to work out perfect. No matter how hard we try!
2. Everything happens in God’s time (that’s for another blog later down the line)
3. Words are powerful.  They can be used for good or for evil
4. I deserve what I work hard for and should fully enjoy it.  Tomorrow isn’t promised.
5. Paying it forward DOES change people

End of Year Reflection and annoying things about Qatar

Self-Reflection:
18 weeks ago, I moved to Qatar in hopes of exploring the world outside of the U.S and rediscovering myself as an Educator.  Although my journey has just begun, I can truly say that it’s an eye-opening, heart-throbbing, reflective experience.  With each new day I learn something new about myself and my own desires…..which I think would surprise even some of my closest friends.  I guess that’s what life is about agh reincarnation and rebirth!

Things that I find most annoying about Qatar:
1. This is a Muslim country and alcohol is prohibited for Muslim residents based on religious beliefs and values.  I can respect and appreciate that they want to live a certain way.  However, the fact that expats have to go all the way to west bubble to the liquor warehouse to purchase wine is a little annoying.  I guess the fact that it isn’t readily convenient is a deterrent in itself and makes people less likely to drink here…..guess they win!  You will absolutely not see a bunch of drunk people at night here in Doha getting into fights or causing trouble.  Lol …smart Qatar☺

2. Again because we are in a “relatively modest” country the government is allowed to block and edit things that they find offensive in nature across every aspect of one’s life.  For example: That means the sex scenes in movies are cut, nudity is non-existent on the tv or the internet, and the mention of any other religion is basically banned publicly.  The thing is that while I find it annoying that many movies I have seen back home are cut and chopped here, it is more annoying to me that they allow cursing like nothing I have seen in the US before.  So kids are watching tv here and can hear things like cunt, bitch, slut, dick, mf’er….how does that make sense?  Is one better than the other?

3. Men in this region of the world wear two types of clothing: Either you are wearing a thawb (thobe) which is an ankle-length garment, usually with long sleeves, similar to a robe.  In Qatar you will see many men in crisp white thawb’s that look pretty fresh actually!  However, you will also see men who don’t wear thawb’s, with incredibly tight pants on….nothing like I’ve seen before.  I mean they might really give a new meaning to skinny jeans for men. Seriously if your jeans are so tight that I can see your “package” then that’s a freaking problem.  Not to mention that their physiques are interesting to say the least….bellies that stick out further than some women rotfl.

4. Why is there non-alcoholic beer and liquor in the grocery stores here? Yeah, same thing I thought wtf if you can’t drink alcohol because it is bad or sacrilegious than why in the hell do you have people: drinking, commercializing, and advertising “forms” of it. So utterly confusing to me!  Even more confusing that I know some Muslims who drink alcohol here….but believe me there is no judgment on my part….I realize that it depends on whether you are a Muslim fundamentalist and how strong your belief is.

5. Last but not least I hate that I am being charged a “fee” everytime I transfer Riyals to dollars across my bank accounts.  I feel like I’m getting ripped off and the bank is making lots of money off of us.  What choice do I have though? Just about all of our bills and loan payments come from our Chase account in the States.  My husband is trying to find a way around this as we speak…..wish us luck.


Qatar National Day:
A national commemoration of Qatar's unification and independence and is celebrated on December 18 every year. The holiday was established by a June 21, 2007 decree of the Emir and Heir Apparent Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad al-Thani. In 1867 the Al Khalifa military of Bahrain launched a successful effort to crush the Qatari rebels, sending a massive naval force to Al Wakrah.  So on this day, December 18 Qatar commemorates the founding of the state of Qatar in December 1878.   Here are some great pictures that will give you some insight into this school-wide, community wide, Nation-wide celebration in Qatar!

Off to Sri Lanka in 48 hours…….I will surely post and update you on our adventure once we arrive!

Quote to live by:   It’s not that everything will be easy or exactly as you had expected, but you must just choose to be grateful for all that you have, and happy that you got a chance to live this life, no matter how it turns out.